Just when you thought it couldnt get any worse...

[CoolBreeze]

5,000 Jehovah's Witnesses to meet in Charleston this weekend.

CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Nearly 70 Jehovah's Witness congregations will gather for the District Convention at the Charleston Civic Center this weekend. The annual convention will draw in more than 5,000 Jehovah's Witnesses from West Virginia, Kentucky, Ohio and Maryland.

Dont answer your door!

[weaver]

Woo hoo, a cult gathering!

[Jay Nunley]

Dont answer your door!

I used to answer my door until I moved into a neighborhood that has to be listed somewhere as one that is loaded with easy marks. The sheer number of door-to-door commercial, religious, political, and charity solicitors that show up here is anomolous. I hate this door to door stuff even more than the old telemarketing days. I already have all the consumer goods, Jesus, and politics I need. I know where to get more if I run low. I'm maxed out on the dollars and hours I can afford to give to charity and not even a cute college girl at my door can squeeze more out of me (half ass pun intended, bitches). Don't be knockin' on my door. I'm trying to drink beer and watch Pawn Stars.

[CoolBreeze]

I learned quickly how to handle Mormons AND Jehovah's Witnesses because they stopped each year.

You see, these two really avoid each other at all cost. They'll try to convert you from almost any other religion, but if you're one of the two mentioned above, they'll leave so fast you'll think they vanished into thin air. Here's the trick: If a Mormon comes by, ask for The Book Of Mormon. Tell them you don't have time to talk now but you'd really like to study the book. They'll be more than happy to give you one.

When a Jehovah's Witness stops, tell them the same thing and ask them to leave you a couple of Watchtowers. (magazine). Now you're all set. From here on out, have these near the door, and then one or the other drops by, just grab the Watchtower or Mormon book (depending) and show it to them. They wont even say goodbye.