Talking Heads know how stupid Americans really are

[CoolBreeze]

Every year For over 55 years I have heard the same thing from all the local TV stations during winter:

1... DRESS IN LAYERS

2...BRING YOUR PETS INSIDE

Naturally, they tell me this each year while standing outside in the coldest weather just to prove that they know exactly what they're doing. This morning for instance, WCHS had some chick standing on top of Fort Hill in the dark, and her lips were so frozen that she could hardly talk. I go up to Fort Hill quite often. I know how the wind blows there. Something tells me that they wont try that again for awhile.

See, as an average American with a very short attention span, I must be constantly reminded by local Talking Heads as to how to dress on any given day in the winter. Otherwise I might venture forth wearing shorts and a T shirt. THEN where would we all be? Soon everyone would think it's shorts weather and try to copy me. Thank God I have Talking Heads telling me year after year after year on how to dress, think, act. And the BEST part is that they'll spend an entire 3 to 5 minutes extolling the benefits of dressing in layers! No no, a hint isnt enough anymore, because of all the inbreeding in this state, we are seriously getting dumber each generation. so entire sections of the news must be devoted to this serious issue.

Let's see.... Dress in layers... bring in my pets. GOT IT.... (at least until next winter.)

[Dave Allen]

Don't forget, we have to have the story on how people who have to work outside cope with the weather, and the mandatory story on plumbing.

[Hoosier Daddy]

Filler crap.
30 years ago, this stuff was relegated to PM Magazine.
Now it qualifies for one of the top five stories on the 6 o'clock news.

[That 70's Employee]

And in July they'll always do a story on how lucky those guys are working in an Ice factory-----

[Bob Campbell]

Damn! I thought this thread was about THE Talking Heads.

This ain't no party
This ain't no disco
This ain't no foolin' around

This ain't no Mudd Clubb
No CBGB's
I ain't go time for that now

[Hoss]

Let's not forget the close to top of the news story that shows how cute and resourceful the pretty one on the news staff is doing all those same old weather things.

[Hoosier Daddy]

David Byrne rules.

[DJSHOCKLEY]

David Byrne rules.

Ehh.... Dug SOME of his stuff...

But Rock N Roll Hall of Famer??

Dats a stretch for me...

[Bob Campbell]

David Byrne rules.

Ehh.... Dug SOME of his stuff...

But Rock N Roll Hall of Famer??

Dats a stretch for me...

One of the most influential bands of the 80's. Absolutely a Hall of Famer.

[Jay Nunley]

You guys have it wrong.

They are taught to do that kind of material because it is a way to make a personal connection to the audience. It works too. The fact that it works is the real indicator of American stupidity.

You are also wrong about Talking Heads. They suck(ed) balls. Literally and figuratively. Literally is O.K. Not my thing, but do what you do. Figuratively is not O.K. I deserve compensation for every time I was subjected to that crap.

You know I'm right about this.

[Hoosier Daddy]

They suck(ed) balls. Literally and figuratively. Literally is O.K. Not my thing, but do what you do. Figuratively is not O.K. I deserve compensation for every time I was subjected to that crap. You know I'm right about this.

That's how I feel about Van Halen.

[AmpedNow]

In July, they remind us not to overexert ourselves in the afternoon.

And to keep the elderly in the A/C, even though they stay cold all the time.

[DJSHOCKLEY]

Oh come on Nunley u know u can't wait to hear Burning Down The House again..

I personally felt that part of the reason these guys made it into the HOF was because New York wanted to make itself seem more relevant to the history of rock n roll than it really was... The Brill building, Dion, and Frankie Vallie aside...

Ill give them the Ramones, but I always thought Patty Smith and bands like Television, the Talking Heads and the whole CBGB thing was VERY over rated, although I did see the humor in Blondie early on...

[Lester]

My favorites (sorry, it's a regional thing) is the Southern equivilent of the cold weather story - the live-action beach shot as the hurricane is blowing on to shore.

I keep praying one of those idiots will die.

[CoolBreeze]

Day two: This morning they place "frozen chick lips" out on Greenbrier Street. She is so cold that she's gulping every 5th word. Today, she reminds me how to drive in this weather because I've completely forgotten:

1... Leave plenty of room between the next car.

2...Never brake on ice.

3...Slow down on bridges and overpasses.

I thank God for her every day during this "crises". I follow her instructions to the letter. I cant wait to see what she tells me tomorrow.

Meanwhile, back in the studio: I'm advised to bring in my dog, or at least break up the ice in his water bowl. I'm shown REAL IMAGES of dogs in the snow as examples of what dogs in the snow look like.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

On another news topic this same station is covering the story of the HUD trash that duct taped a little boy while living in squalor here in the city. Another Info Babe is interviewing the Perp during the Perp Walk to the courthouse and trying to get the Perp to say something. He tells her to get the camera out of his face, to which she replies:

"HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT SEEING US HERE TODAY? DOES IT MAKE YOU MAD?

hahaha! I LOVED it!

Of course, when a Perp is completely surrounded by armed law enforcement, it's a little easier to piss off the Perp to your hearts content. Kind of like saying, Na Na Na Na Na...Na.

[Bob Campbell]

Crap. And there I am in icy conditions always right up on the bumper of the car ahead, slamming on the brakes on ice ( donuts are fun!) and speeding up on bridges and overpasses. I would have never thought to do what she said.

Sorry Nunley, you are a true wizard, but incorrect in this case. And Shockley, you're just a goober. Everything now known as Alternative grew out of those bands. I know, most of that stuff for last decade has sucked balls, but there has been some good in amongst it. Remember, 99% of EVERYTHING sucks.

[Jay Nunley]

99% of EVERYTHING sucks.

I couldn't agree more. I'm owed minor compensation from Talking Heads in comparison to how much Aerosmith, Van Halen, and Nickelback owe me (just to name 3 of 467 bands/artists that owe me). Yes, "Take You Whiskey Home" and "Runnin' With The Devil", "Last Child" and "Mama Kin", and "Figured You Out" mitigate what those three bands owe me a little, but not much. I'm owed millions for every time I've had to hear "Panama", "Jump", "Dream On", "Walk This Way", and ALL other Nickelback songs.

Obviously, what really amps up what they own me is number of forced listenings. Do you realize that I have heard "Dream On" somewhere over six thousand times in my life? That doesn't seem like a big number, I know. Try this. Listen to your favorite song six thousand times. Tell me how much you like it then. After that listen to a song you hate to your core six thousands times, but please stop listening to it BEFORE you put the shotgun in your mouth.

No one owes me more money than Pink Floyd. "Time" is the only thing they have in the debit column. I've heard a Pink Floyd song that wasn't "Time" no less than three times a day, every day, for twenty years. We're talking between thirty and forty thousand forced non-"Time" Pink Floyd listenings over a lifetime.

Talking Heads owe me, but it has been a long time since I was forced to hear them. Over time, the amount they owe is lessened by not hearing them. George Thorogood and Red Rider owe me tons more for both a greater frequency and continued force listenings for "Bad To The Bone" and "Lunatic Fringe".

[fearpeddler]

In all my powers of guessing I'd bet you've actually heard that song far more than 6000 times...

[Jay Nunley]

In all my powers of guessing I'd bet you've actually heard that song far more than 6000 times...

It's probably closer to ten thousand, but I would rather estimate it low.

[Bob Campbell]

99% of EVERYTHING sucks.

Obviously, what really amps up what they own me is number of forced listenings. Do you realize that I have heard "Dream On" somewhere over six thousand times in my life? That doesn't seem like a big number, I know.

It could be worse. I've had to listen to it as many times on air as you and, when I was playing in cover bands, I had to play the damn thing a couple times a night (once in the first set, once in the fourth)! I think I could sit in with Aerosmith today and play drums on it as well as Joey Kramer.
But I do love "Toys in the Attic".