No Funny Answers To This Question, Please

[Scott Reppert]

You work at a West Virginia television or radio station.

You lose ALL ability to receive programming from ANY AND ALL sources outside of your building for AT LEAST A YEAR (syndicators, networks, record companies).

Regular phone service available. No cellular phone service. No internet. No cable television.

What do you program?

I'm being serious.

And if you answer seriously, I might bring Edna back...

[Jet Black]

DUI's finally catch up with you? House arrest is a drag, I hear. THIS WAS NOT THAT FUNNY OF AN ANSWER.

[Ace Purple]

Some possibilities:

-The return of Mr. Cartoon.
-Swap shop with live television hosts taking calls.
-Local news programming blocks airing in mostly non-live fashion, allowing for it to potentially run on a loop like how Bright House and Time Warner have on some cable-only stations.
-Work a deal with a local radio station with local shows and simulcast that on TV, having them broadcast live from your building.
-The Mark Hallburn hour.

(Okay, that last one might be considered funny by some.)

[fearpeddler]

too many options, whittle me down a little, this a statewide tv/radio deal, or limited to one of the usual 3 zones?

[Scott Reppert]

Hallburn.

Code: Select all

Nelson Muntz FX

Anyway, back to seriousness: individual stations, both radio and TV. Nothing hooked together...to anything...anywhere.

You gotta use what you got in the building and THAT'S IT.

What do you do?

Obviously, aside from "Mr. Cartoon", nobody is really prepared for this...even with an answer!

[fearpeddler]

if i knew what i actually had to work with other than a "building" i could start formulating some answers.

[Scott Reppert]

if i knew what i actually had to work with other than a "building" i could start formulating some answers.

You've got whatever equipment and people and programming materials that are in the building.

Now if you are saying that all you currently have is a "building" and that's it, you're kinda jumping to the point of the question...

[Jet Black]

I would tape a live 4-hour Wayne's World type program everyday, and run it over every four hours until the next show. Read the newspaper, call-ins, juggling, pray-ins, whatever you could come up with, just keep it moving like Jerry Lewis on Labor Day afternoon.

But better, I'd quit and move to some new gig that wasn't in such desperate straights.

[jag]

I don't mean to play Arp's advocate, here, but wouldn't that be desperate straits?

[Jet Black]

Sorry. I have a rare disease known as Spelling Tourettes, causes me to add or juxtapose letters.

[Arp2]

Sorry. I have a rare disease known as Spelling Tourettes,....

....and, in a bizarre twist on "life imitates art," tonight's 20/20 is a shockingly clear rip-off of a South Park episode.

Now, back to the regularly-scheduled thread, which I don't understand one bit......

[Scott Reppert]

Now, back to the regularly-scheduled thread, which I don't understand one bit......

It's quite simple to understand. On a given day you are suddenly without access to ANY programming that came in to your station (be it radio or tv) from an outside source. You have to program EVERY SECOND of the broadcast day with what you have on hand in the studios at the time. What would you run?

You guys are not ready for this, that's all I can say...

[Tom Taggart]

That's why we have a CD library for both stations.

[Jet Black]

By the way, Tom, saw your XCR billboard in NM this evening. Cool!

[Arp2]

You have to program EVERY SECOND of the broadcast day with what you have on hand in the studios at the time. What would you run?

"What we always run."

That's why this is so confusing.

Now, obviously, TV is different, and voicetracking with outside talent has changed things, but, for the most part for most radio folks, it's "what we always run" with ourselves taking on even larger on-air roles.


Music would get a tad stale, of course.....

[Hoosier Daddy]

Music would get a tad stale, of course.....

Already is at many stations ...

[AmpedNow]

A. If my laptop was available, load playlists in Winamp. Bittorrent would become really valuable in this situation.

No internet, though. Would have to play what was already on the hard drive, which would get stale in a couple of weeks at a contemporary format.

B. If not, pull out the turntables and go old skool. Do a shift with Mr. Broom.

Problem is, most stations don't have tables or wax anymore, so that's nixed.

C. I love the "UHF" concept in theory, but in reality, it would be an enormous amount of work with little payback or appreciation.

D. Shut down and go home until the satellites and music samplers come back.

Point well taken, though. The modern broadcast world is almost entirely dependent on satellite feeds and automation.

[Greg Goodfellow]

How long would the 'broadcast day' have to be? Are we assuming 24 hours a day here?

Live and local...live and local...live and local. Early radio and TV was all live, all the time. How long that time is per day hasn't been established here.

Invite listeners to bring in their CDs (most stations would have long abandoned their turntables). Have a contest with volunteer DJs under the supervision of station management. Vote on the best DJ, and give them some swag. Schools could 'vote' on the best DJ, pitting one school's pride against another.

Basically, treat this like an LPFM or LPTV on steroids. Get the word out to the schools to have talent shows which you would tape, along with city council meetings, school board meetings and every other community event. In the case of this Armageddon, allow the listeners/viewers to feel they have some ownership over the final product.

Any business that has ever supported you may come on and do an informercial extolling their business.

Everything you do would be looped. Videotape everything that moves. If it doesn't move, try harder.

Yep...I don't know what I'm talking about here, either.

[lastone]

Simple.

Radio: Call the kids and borrow the Ipods.

TV: Turn on your old camera and broadcast the fish tank live. No camera? Use the chinron to do text messages with the public.

Both: If all else fails, change the off air receiver/mod monitor to the neighbors channel/frequency and rebroadcast....with their OK....

[fearpeddler]

4 words... the side boob show ...