Stupid Old School Rock Radio Rules

[Schaffer]

I just started my new job back in good ole PA. Had to leave Beasley in NC because they wanted to take away some of my vast wealth due to bull shit in other underperforming markets. Anyway, I'm getting to know my new partner in crime here at the new station, and we start talking about a really strange DOP we both have worked for in the past. Turns out we both were almost killed for talking over the birds at the end of LAYLA. It wasn't just that guy, I also got yelled at for talking over the birds at WSFL. Has anyone else ever had this happen? If not, what other old school rules can you think of? We thought this might spark a nice discussion.

[Hoosier Daddy]

I don't know about "stupid" rules, but here are some cardinal rules I remember ...

1. Know your intros and outros and work them.
2. Match jingles to the music -- specifically, to the intro of the upcoming song.
3. Know where the post is and NEVER step over it.
4. Start all your stopsets with agency (non station voices) commercials.
5. National and regional spots go first in the stopset. Local spots are last.
6. "Stopset -> voice -> jingle -> music" no more than once an hour.
7. Female artists are never played back to back.
8. One song per hour per artist.
9. Don't ramble. Use the smallest number of words possible to convey your message.
10. Be excited about being on the radio.
11. Remember quarter hour maintenance.
12. Flag all cue burned records immediately.
13. Answer the bat phone when it rings. Take your ass chewing like a man, learn from it, and get on with life.


God, I feel old.

[Dale Alexander]

I did classic rock in Morgantown and people would complain and write letters to the owners and pd's if you even tried a loose mix on the end of songs! I mean come on - some of those songs would go on for hours. And if you really are concerned that I dropped the last half measure in a nine measure drone, why would you complain to the only people who will speak to you? that being the jock that has to answer when you call in with your 5 pages of requests.
I actually had a guy who called every weekend with at least 15-20 songs that he wanted to hear and the order that he wanted them. Then, he would piss and moan because I wouldn't play them. And it always included King Crimson.
I feel your Pain Jason! But, I imagine you'll be a killer back on Rock.
Where in PA are you now? What's the statute of limitations up there?
Dale Alexander

[Kitesgot]

I remember all of those listed and the one that stood out was the "NEVER FEMALE ARTISTS BACK-TO-BACK!"

Never understood the reasoning behind that------and always thought it was some kind of 'left-over' rule from the early days
because there just weren't that many female artists. Maybe that was it-- I don't know.

[Big Media]

My favorite:

Stay on the music log. Do not add, change, or drop anything.

Guilty.

I got my ass chewed a couple of times for this but never like the ass chewing I got when the PD called the request line instead of the hot line and I answered failing to give the proper slogan.
Damn, my ass is still half chewed over that.

Thanks, Big John.

[fearpeddler]

What's the statute of limitations up there?
Dale Alexander

in PA it depends on the crime....

[Hoosier Daddy]

I remember all of those listed and the one that stood out was the "NEVER FEMALE ARTISTS BACK-TO-BACK!" Never understood the reasoning behind that------and always thought it was some kind of 'left-over' rule from the early days because there just weren't that many female artists. Maybe that was it-- I don't know.

Bingo. You'd throw in a female artist every three or four songs to add flavor. You'd also do the same thing by sweeping from a fast, hard driving tune to something dramatic and slow, using the appropriate jingle to segue, or -- if you ran a really tight board and had two perfect songs, you'd drop the slow one rght on top the cold ending of a fast song. Example: Sufragette City (David Bowie) --> Rocket Man (Elton John). Extra points if you had one of those quick 'shout' jingles like "KEE!" to throw in between the seque and it played out perfectly bing-bang-boom.

[AmpedNow]

I remember all of those listed and the one that stood out was the "NEVER FEMALE ARTISTS BACK-TO-BACK!"

Never understood the reasoning behind that------and always thought it was some kind of 'left-over' rule from the early days
because there just weren't that many female artists. Maybe that was it-- I don't know.

I could see this still being true for active or classic rock stations that heavily target males, for fear of being too "soft". (pun intended).

There are exceptions, though. I couldn't imagine anyone complaining about Joan Jett, Pat Benatar, and Heart being played back-to-back.

I don't think this rule was ever on alternative radio. It has always had more female artists than other rock formats anyway--esp in the mid-90's.

[Hoosier Daddy]

I could see this still being true for active or classic rock stations that heavily target males, for fear of being too "soft".

These are old school Top 40 rules.

I couldn't imagine anyone complaining about Joan Jett, Pat Benatar, and Heart being played back-to-back.

Naah. Still too much vagina. Not enough testosterone. At least for me.

[Hoosier Daddy]

Stay on the music log. Do not add, change, or drop anything.

I never worked ANYWHERE that had a music log.
Some stations had a tight clock, but never a music log that dictated everything you'd play.

God, I feel old. Really old.

[Big Media]

I never worked ANYWHERE that had a music log.

I had a couple of shifts like that at WMUL. I jocked the AOR format because it was the only format they used that I knew.

I tried jocking that alternative crap they called "progressive" but every song I played sounded exactly like the previous song. I was lost.

[fmksey]

In the mid 70s there was a short lived format called Mellow Rock. It started at WYNY in NYC and after a few decent books for WYNY (females only listening) - 30/40 stations across the crountry said what the hell, we'll try it. The core play list was folks like Joan Baez, James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Gordon Lightfoot. etc. I worked for a station in Albuqerque who did it for about 6 months - and then went disco.
The format was just like a beautiful music station from that era - 15 minutes of music and back announce what you just played. A second of dead air between selections and when you were on the mic - a cart playing windchimes was in the background. The PD told us to be "breathy" when we opened the mic - still not sure what that is. And even with that format - no females back-to-back.

[Dave Loudin]

I remember all of those listed and the one that stood out was the "NEVER FEMALE ARTISTS BACK-TO-BACK!" Never understood the reasoning behind that------and always thought it was some kind of 'left-over' rule from the early days because there just weren't that many female artists. Maybe that was it-- I don't know.

Bingo. You'd throw in a female artist every three or four songs to add flavor. You'd also do the same thing by sweeping from a fast, hard driving tune to something dramatic and slow, using the appropriate jingle to segue, or -- if you ran a really tight board and had two perfect songs, you'd drop the slow one rght on top the cold ending of a fast song. Example: Sufragette City (David Bowie) --> Rocket Man (Elton John). Extra points if you had one of those quick 'shout' jingles like "KEE!" to throw in between the seque and it played out perfectly bing-bang-boom.

We had the "no consecutive females" rule apply to all blocks at 'SGB - top 28 (didn't get all 40 for free), country, gospel, ads, PSAs, etc.

Crappy use of jingles used to be one of my pet peeves. Why would you play a jingle full of bunnies, puffy clouds, and ponies and then follow with an electric, up-tempo song? Rotten pacing of segues was one of the ways radio chased away active listening. If you don't take the time to creatively stitch together the various elements of programming together, why not just plug in a hard drive and let 'er rip?

[Scott Reppert]

5. National and regional spots go first in the stopset. Local spots are last.

This is the one on your list that I totally disagree with, even though I know what people consider to be the "reason behind the rule". I always tried to maintain local spots FIRST, making sure that the first local spot was never the voice of the on air personality. Followed up by other local spots, then the regionals/nationals. I always thought that the reason that people wanted to do the non-local stuff first was the fact that they didn't want to take the time to identify the in-house voice on the local spot cart labels, thus this way they were guaranteed no voice to voice clashes with less work...

8. One song per hour per artist.

Uh, how about one song per shift per artist? Unless you were doing a six hour shift or a "Led Zeppelin A To Z Weekend", we always went with one song per artist per shift...

13. Answer the bat phone when it rings. Take your ass chewing like a man, learn from it, and get on with life.

In Morgantown we didn't have a "Bat Phone". We had a "Goon Line". Ask Darin Hudec...

God, I feel old.

Hey, I just referenced carts in my above statements. How do you think I feel?

[The People's DJ]

Stay on the music log. Do not add, change, or drop anything.

I got a problem with that. I mean if you have a "kick ass upbeat" song going and the next in line is "drop dead, I'm going to kill myself" song, shouldn't you at least try to go from upbeat, medium, then slow

[Hoosier Daddy]

Ask Darin Hudec...

Now there's an air name.

[Hoosier Daddy]

5. National and regional spots go first in the stopset. Local spots are last.

This is the one on your list that I totally disagree with, even though I know what people consider to be the "reason behind the rule". I always tried to maintain local spots FIRST, making sure that the first local spot was never the voice of the on air personality. Followed up by other local spots, then the regionals/nationals.

The national (ad agency) jingles just sounded better than anything produced in house, at least at most of the places I worked. The soft drink commercial spots (think "Have a Coke and a Smile", "It's the Real Thing", and "The Pepsi Generation") were the best, because they were essentially radio station jingles that advertised a product. Agency spots usually had a powerful and dramatic intro and, as you mentioned, you never had to worry about mixing and matching station voices in a stopset.

Hey, there'a another "rule": 60 second spots always got played first, then 30s. PSAs and station promos were always one to a stopset and were always last. Many carted promos usually ended in the station call letters and/or slogan so you could go directly into a song.

[Uncle Shishkabob]

Regarding rule 5. Should you be lucky enough to have two agency spots in the break play one at the begining and one at the end.Ending your stop set with a pepsi jingle, into a station shotgun followed by "Dynomite" By Tony Camillo's Bazoka always sounded great

Other rules I remember

1. Top Of The Hour- play the best tune with the shortest intro you can get your hands on
2. Always stand up when doing your air shift. I always found that when seated my energy level dropped...this rule does not apply if you were working for Al Ham any MOR or AOR station
3. If your station used a reverb, always turn it off when the Sunday Morning preachers hit the air.
4. Regarding rule 3 above, when the last preacher says the final "amen" don't forget to turn the reverb back on.
5. Use editing tape around the capstand to speed up the turntables.
6. Always clean the tape heads of the cart machines after your shift.
7. Shotgun jingles are only to be played "powering out of stop sets" never use them as sweepers between songs.

[Hoosier Daddy]

Ooh! ... if you worked at a station that carried network news live at the top of the hour, keep a box of short-length (<2:00) 45s off to the side. Make sure there are at least a half dozen instrumentals CLEARLY MARKED as such. You never know when you'll have a backtime emergency.

[sportsvoice]

2. Always stand up when doing your air shift. I always found that when seated my energy level dropped...this rule does not apply if you were working for Al Ham any MOR or AOR station.

I've found this to also be true when I call football or basketball games.