Some rules Arp2 might like!

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Oldiesdude
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Some rules Arp2 might like!

Post by Oldiesdude »

Arp2 is occasionally frustrated by the poor spelling and grammar that shows up on this board. I've put together this checklist to help you guys out. Any questions, you can ask Arp2.


1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be ignored.
20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
29. Who needs rhetorical questions?
30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Rock
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Re: Some rules Arp2 might like!

Post by Rock »

Heh, I love it. On the plus side, it's actually a nice refresher on proper usage. I can always use that! :D
America is at that awkward stage.
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but too early to shoot the bastards.
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jag
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Re: Some rules Arp2 might like!

Post by jag »

Excellent! This is the same style guide that William Safire uses.
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Arp2
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Re: Some rules Arp2 might like!

Post by Arp2 »

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
I'll allow it as a vehicle for sounding (heck, being) casual and conversational.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
I can do it, but it's almost impossible to avoid and creates some really unusual-sounding phrases when adverbs need to get shoved in there somewhere.....
"I don't know the same things you don't know."

"Yes, you do; you just won't admit it!"


"Yeeee...it looks like a 'Belt Buckle & Ball Cap' convention in here......"
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