Help us, we don't know what to do!

[genlock]

WEIRTON, W.Va.

Weirton officials have enlisted the federal government's help in figuring out what to do about at least 70 wild chickens that are roaming a city neighborhood.
City Council approved a contract this week for a study that will be conducted by the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Animal and Plant Health Services.
Weirton Police Chief Bruce Marshall says the federal agency will conduct a preliminary site investigation and then design a plan for the birds' possible removal.
Marshall says an estimated 70 to 100 wild chickens live in the Kings Creek Bowl area.
A Mr. Henry Hawk has been contacted.

[Cameron]

Sounds like Key West.

Except, er, in Wierton.

70, huh?

I guess we now know what they are doing when they cross the road.

[Jet Black]

(Ring, ring,.... Ring, ring....) "KFC Strike Team Headquarters - What is your emergency?"

[Oldiesdude]

You could always get some large speakers and play the "Chicken Dance". That is sure to make them, or someone Fowl!

[Dr. Whiplash]

...the federal agency will conduct a preliminary site investigation and then design a plan for the birds' possible removal...

Weirtonians should expect a 6-12 month delay, as the Federal Nuisance Poultry Administration (FNPA) is still working on the Goose Shit Mitigation Initiative at Parkersburg City Park.

You can't go into these things half-cocked.

[Tom Taggart]

Time for a chicken barbeque---BYOB

(*Bring Your Own Bird)

[Scott Reppert]

"Oooooh, Andy. I thinks dis here is de answer to the poultry quandry you is currently embroiled in"

[jag]

A Mr. Henry Hawk has been contacted.

Uh, in the old Foghorn Leghorn cartoon, wasn't there a character called the "Chicken Hawk?"

[rfhertz]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henery_Hawk

[Big Media]

Get me some of dem dare biskits and some of dem dare mashtaters and gravy and I'll fix your chicken problem!