Stupid Old School Rock Radio Rules

[Scott Reppert]

Ooh! ... if you worked at a station that carried network news live at the top of the hour, keep a box of short-length (<2:00) 45s off to the side.

Gary Deavers and I were reminiscing about this very subject a couple of Friday nights ago. We both agreed that X owes WTCS at least a third of their royalties for "Blue Spark".

And yes, Darin Hudec was his real air name. Great announcer. Also known as "Hip Langster", if that helps. Was in on "The Great 1991 Fourth Of July Fireworks Play-By-Play" broadcast with me and "Lunchbox" Chris Mathews and Mr. Viscous. It spawned Hip's landmark double LP "Pay No Attention To The Man With The Pyrotechnics". Even though it all really happened and those are the real people involved, I have begun to ramble...

Others in the "Shorts" box at TCS (actually labeled as such, kept in the shelf on the wall leading into "The Bill Coogle Memorial Record Library"):

The Dave Clark Five "I Like It Like That"
The Beatles "Lady Madonna"
The Ramones "Rockaway Beach"
The Hooters "Fightin' On The Same Side" (original version on the local label out of Philly)
The Box Tops "The Letter"
Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders "Game Of Love"
Paul Collin's Beat "Walking Out On Love"

But then again you could have Shel Silverstein's "26 Second Song" or Kenny Price's "The Shortest Song In The World". Each on the same :90 cart. Three times apiece...

[Kiddconley]

One of my first radio mentors was John Summers who came to Z-107 (WLZT) in Charleston from B-94 in Pittsburgh (and now at K-Love in Dallas). He explained to me that back to back females was a "no-no" because it gave the station too much pop appeal. I whole-heartedly still believe that. They have recently started revamping the music here at MXE' (As if the format weren't shitty enough) and heading in a more Oldie/Rock-ish direction. One of the first things I noticed after putting in about 300 new songs... was the lack of female artists. Fleetwood Mac, Heart, and Jefferson Airplane are just about all of the females I can remember seeing on the list. This seems a little excessive to me.. but I am sure they know what they're doing.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I kill me sometimes. We're talking about people who think Simon & Garfunkle are an intersection in a Jewish neighborhood.

[Scott Reppert]

We're talking about people who think Simon & Garfunkle are an intersection in a Jewish neighborhood.

Ba-dum-dum.

"And you, mam, in the third row. You are one HOT lady! Not looks wise, mind you, but it's 105 in here and you're approaching double digits in mink. I'm here all week. Enjoy the lox"...

[Bob Campbell]

Remember Mike Joseph's Hot Hits format? Talk about rules. I've got to dig up my copy of the format from Z-104 and post a few. Jingles between every song. No talk breaks longer than 10 seconds. Jocks NEVER mentioned the calls ( the jingles took care of that). Having to use specific words every quarter hour, "hot" being one of them of course. Every neighborhood in the market on a list with mentions every quarter hour i.e. "Here's another hot one for South Charleston from Duran Duran".
Awesome format.

[Arp2]

A thing that kinda still blows my mind to this day was hearing Billy Burke on WCAU-FM do the time, his name, the weather, a mention of a recreational activity in a neighborhood, the title and artist, and a variation of the station name over the intro of a sped-up "Love Is A Battlefield." What was that....five seconds?

[Jay Nunley]

My favorites that were stupid and ill-conceived...

Time Warping: Saying it is 4:17pm instead of 4:14pm so the diary holder would report listening across two quarter hours.

Pretend you are talking to just one person.

Always come out of the top hour I.D. with an uptempo song.

You should only say your name once an hour.

Never do a PSA and the weather in the same quarter hour.




My favorites that were valid then and remain so now...



(Rock Radio Only) Do not talk over song intros including the year and half long ramp ups in every song by Pink Floyd.

If you have done so much show prep that you can’t fit it all into one show, you are doing just enough.

Do not use cheesy radioisms like “Comin’ at ya”, “Going out to.” “We have a wiener”, “In the air chair”, “In the captain’s chair”, “On the air everywhere” and other such drivel.

[GlenBrannon1]

Ooh! ... if you worked at a station that carried network news live at the top of the hour, keep a box of short-length (<2:00) 45s off to the side. Make sure there are at least a half dozen instrumentals CLEARLY MARKED as such. You never know when you'll have a backtime emergency.

We had Herb Alpert cue-burned back timing into ball games and the such. I also found the Beatles "Hey Jude" is only a 3 minute song! The "Naa-Naaa"s we long enough to fade out gently without breaking out the "Rise" album out!

[Scott Reppert]

Always come out of the top hour I.D. with an uptempo song.

Of all these "rules", this is the one that I feel HAS to be adhered to the most!

I mean come on!

You want to lose those suicidal listeners two minutes in to the hour!

[jag]

If you have done so much show prep that you can’t fit it all into one show, you are doing just enough.

Welllllll...

With all due respect, it seems to me that way too many who perched upon the air-chair (sorry!) tended to over-do the show prep thing. Or, perhaps more to the point, they simply didn't do it effectively. Often jocks sound far "too predictable" and it's not as exciting as it might be if there were more of an element of spontaneity. Now, I grant you that not all air-folks can pull off improvisational work, but those who can and do...ah! Now that's good radio!

[Bob Campbell]

I've found that if, at the end of the show, about 25 percent of what we had didn't make it on the air, we did a good job. You can never have too much info. 90 percent of what we think up never gets on the grid. Or is that 9 percent?

Yeah, and always round the time up Jay!!

[jag]

BTW, Scott...whatever happened to Darin Hudec? I remember him. He had a bit of a sardonic wit about him (pardon my wild understatement).

[Scott Reppert]

Well, Jag, Darin...who has actually posted on here a few times...was in Arizona the last I heard with a wifey and an offspring. He was on here a year and a half or so ago and we PM'ed back and forth a few times. (Late addition here: I went back and checked. We PM'ed between 10/05 and 05/06) I still remember walking into Magic 101 when the studio was still in Westover one night and he had taken a reggae production disc bed and multitracked himself singing "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" over the reggae bed in a Jamaican accent. This was at like, 8:30 in the evening. By midnight it had played on U-92. "Hip Langster" was legendary. Is Jet still around here? Ask him. He's worn out a couple of copies of "Love Theme From 'Beat The Clock'"...

[Jay Nunley]

Now, I grant you that not all air-folks can pull off improvisational work, but those who can and do...ah! Now that's good radio!

I guarantee all that great improv work was a product of show prep (which is the point). Don't mistake prep for scripting.

[Bob Campbell]

Jay's right. You take the prep and fly with it. Knowledge is power. Talent is the creative use of that power. Damn, that sounds almost intelligent.

[Arp2]

There is a massive difference between the spontaneity born of opportunity and the spontaneity born of desperation.

[Dave Allen]

Some stuff I remember from various places..

All spots breaks are 3:00 and nothing more (obviously NOT at WVOW!), agency spots always come first, with the :60's before the :30's, promos go at the end of the set so you can talk about them, end all remotes with the calls or moniker, do not cue anything on the CBS or Epic record label for it will burn (Conley remembers this one from WLOG). More to follow.

[Scott Reppert]

...do not cue anything on the CBS or Epic record label for it will burn...

If you want to hear this truth played out, go to Jeff's "WV Radio History Page" and check the sound files. Go to the one that says "WFGM Aircheck". It has Pete Hunter doing the VERY first morning of "The Great 98" and I believe he does "99 Red Balloons" and the first ten seconds is cueburn!

It's located here: http://jeff560.tripod.com/sounds.html

[Jay Nunley]

There is a massive difference between the spontaneity born of opportunity and the spontaneity born of desperation.

Fuckin' A. Show prep gives you more opportunities.

[Ace Purple]

Show prep gives you more opportunities.

Damn straight. I worked with a woman in Tampa who used to do great show prep for the Saturday night metal show on WXTB in Tampa circa 2003. She'd spend 2-3 hours prepping for it (and it was a four hour show) and the result was a very prepared, informative show that operated the way more jock shifts (specialty shows or otherwise) should.

[Bob Campbell]

God, it's a pisser to agree with Arp.